The Scarlet F

The first half of 2020 is being dominated by one issue; and as we sit in our houses and apartments, bemoaning the virus which has us locked up like rhesus monkeys, we're inundated by the shrapnel of the internet - the most pervasive revolution to happen to communication since Adam discovered he had someone to talk to besides his cat. And all of a sudden, one of the most important issues anyone can talk about is whether or not it's ok for two people to go outside and talk.
Who could have imagined that conversation and hugging would generate more memes than the 2020 presidential race? Whether that's a positive or negative development, I leave for you to decide. What I want to talk about is the way people have responded to those 2 folks out there, the ones talking to each other, the ones who aren't "social distancing".
An overwhelming percentage of social media advice consists of something like "stay at home, idiot-moron-jerk". This is an approach to public health which seeks to shame people into good behavior, and the practice of shaming has been around a long time, as everyone will recall who was forced to read The Scarlet Letter. In fact, the only response to covid-19 which is more predominant in my social media feeds is the humorous response. I heartily approve of the use of humor in dark or distressing times, even though it can be overdone. On the other hand, I'm also plenty accustomed to public shaming, because I live in America; so I expected people to publicly shame TP hoarders and hand-sneezers and party goers. What I didn't expect was the occasional use of shame directed at other people for things that have nothing to do with public health.
Some people have been using this time to start something new; getting back into that hobby, or learning a new skill, or getting in shape. And unfortunately, it's from these people that a new, insidious strain of shame sometimes comes. It's the kind of shame you sometimes sense in someone who is flush with new or unexpected success. 
Unfortunately, one of the curious side-effects of success is a desire to motivate other people. This can be healthy, but it can also be toxic. If your idea of 'motivating' people is to tell them that they are undisciplined and sloppy because they aren't using a pandemic to lose weight or start a home-based business, then you're trying to use guilt as a weapon to motivate people just as surely as if you're slapping a scarlet "F" for "failure" on their chest.
The horrible thing about guilt is that it can motivate people, just like a loaded gun can. But you cannot sustain a guilt-or-shame based motivation for very long. The reason for that is that guilt and shame are terrible; they erode the soul, they push down on a person's spirit the way too much weight on the shoulders pushes down on the spine. Eventually, if you carry shame or guilt long enough, you either collapse - or you stop caring. Both of those reactions are a way to get out from under the burden of something which is impossible to carry forever.
So whenever someone is barking at me for not having enough discipline to hunker down and blah blah blah, I have to remind myself that guilt isn't a long-term solution; therefore, anything which I do because I feel guilty isn't going to last. You know who else should remember that? Anyone who's trying to use shame to get people to feel productive in the middle of a quarantine.
So, to avoid falling into the trap of using shame to get people to stop using shame, allow me to say this: If you are reaching a goal, or fulfilling a dream, or simply finding ways to remain productive, enjoy it. You should use your success to encourage others. Go ahead and inspire them! It's so much better to reach down toward someone than to look down on them.